Death to Anonymity

You guys, I got business cards;

…What I’m actually going to do with these cards is a complete mystery to me right now, but at least now I don’t have to hope the slightly-drunk individual I’ve been talking to for the past hour can remember a) where they are and how they get there, but more importantly, b) to read my blog. I’m fairly certain the majority of these cards will end up in those bowls at Quiznos with the hopes of scoring me a free sandwich, but only time will tell.

Why do I need business cards for a site that doesn’t technically have a business model? Branding. Because in order to raise awareness for something you care deeply about (any blogger that writes about a dedicated topic for free has a profound attachment to it), you need to market yourself. Because we all know ¬†that if a tree falls in the woods and all that shit. Basically It’ll be like I’m handing someone a ‘selfie‘ of my site, except it doesn’t have ‘#yolo’ anywhere on it. I don’t know how to do any of this, so I’m hoping to learn about it as I go. Painfully, I’m sure.


If I were an eloquent man, I could easily hype up my site to people in a positive, memorable way, but on average, it goes a li’l something like this:

Oh, no, I'm not Lou Diamond Phillips from La Bamba.
So you enjoy beverages?
Damn, that's a cool jacket. Where'd you get it? J. Jill?
I write. I have a site. There's this thing. Online.
<begin sweating for no reason>
So, do you know how to read? No? That's weird.
Can I borrow your phone? Oh is that a flip phone?! Never mind.
I take little pictures. Well they're not little. I guess they're regular size.
You know what? Forget my face. FORGET YOU EVER SAW ME!
<I then knock the drink out of their hands and bolt out of that Denny's>


I commissioned Print and Grain¬†[an army-of-two] letterpress company from the lovely Portland, OR to design these and man did they deliver. The style they designed works great with my site’s bad boy attitude and I’ll proudly spread them like a virus wherever I go.

*be sure to check out their shop on Etsy for more on Print and Grain letterpress products.

%d bloggers like this: