First post of the year…one that I had planned for the END of last year but here we are…yayyyy?!? Screw it. So by now the holidays and all their bloated spectacle are but a distant memory, yet all the weight that you got as a “present” is surely still sticking around. But it’s cool, because pants fit much better when they’re sweatpants or leggings which is all I wear these days to mask my new-found curves. I hope that all of you reading this had some great cocktails or at the very least, a solid beer over the past few weeks. Some of them might have been so good in fact, that you don’t remember them at all. Nor do you remember throwing up in the Uber but you know what, it’s all behind us. Let’s look forward. Let’s be more than what we were and make something great out of the new year. I’m obviously talking about cocktails, you guys. Be who you want to be, regardless of the year, but at least have a beautiful drink in your hand.
Onto the cocktail. It’s fruity, full of wood notes, which mixed with the char from the pineapple, make for a fun time. GUARANTEED. Cognac is still a spirit that I struggle with in cocktails, to be honest, yet it’s super-easy for me to make into a tasty punch. It’s cold and warm months are far away, so I thought to bring a bit of tiki flavors and temperatures to the season. So put on some shorts, crank up the thermostat and invite that one friend you have over. Cause shit is about to get crazy. Unless it doesn’t. And you just have some sparkling conversation for a couple hours and then politely call it a night by 10 pm. I’ll leave that up to you.
RIVER OF GOLD
makes around 10-15 servings
cognac | 3 cups blanc vermouth | 1 cup
Angostura bitters | 10 dashes Bittermens Elemakule Tiki bitters | 10 dashes
CITRUS, SYRUPS & JUICES
roasted pineapple juice | 2 cups lemon juice | 1 cup honey syrup* | 3/4 cup
black tea | 2 cups
Pour all the items above into your beautiful punch bowl of choice and give it a good stir.
Taste it a bit and check if it needs a bit more of this or that, depending on how you’d like it.
Punch will undoubtedly need some ice, this is to chill it and dilute it since it would be a bit too concentrated at this point, even if you had chilled the liquids beforehand. I suggest making a big block of ice in whatever random bowl or Tupperware container you have. Or if you’re really cool, make clear ice blocks yourself like THIS.
Get a ladle ready, some cups and you’re done!